"My London venue directory is called Harden's because there are two of us, myself and my brother" Harden Guides director Richard Harden gets his apostrophes confused with his plurals.
"The Virgin brand comes with a person attached, albeit one with a beard" Mask's Arthur Somerset makes his contribution to facial hair relations.
"I'd like to say 'Thank you' to those celebrities who have helped the series become such a success and for turning up tonight, with the exception of Phil Tufnell. In fact f**k Phil Tufnell. He's not here is he?" An ITV spokesman is rather annoyed Phil Tufnell didn't bother turning up for Granada's I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here party.
"Firstly, thanks to the chef for sparing us from rubber chicken" Roger Daltry gives credit where it's due while collecting the London's Lifetime Achievement Award at the Capital FM Awards for Help a London Child, which was held at the Royal Lancaster Hotel.
"I got an award last year but got so drunk I forgot to ring my parents. My dad heard it the next day on the Terry Wogan Show - so if Terry is out there, can you do the same again?" Xfm radio presenter Christian O'Connell on the power of radio, after winning DJ of the Year at the Sony Awards.
"Viral marketing isn't about kissing someone and catching a disease" Mask's Arthur Somerset is at it again, outlining the difference between STDs and marketing.
"We don't have goody bags as we can't afford them, but we have branded coasters under your glasses so help yourselves" Upper Street Events MD Philip Lowery encourages miscellaneous crime at the launch of his new company.